Crap crap crap! WE FORGOT!!
Today is "International Talk Like a Pirate Day!" We can't believe we forgot it! Oops, we mean "Aaaargh! To arms, to arms, me lads and wenches! Prepare to weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! Whar be that scurvy dog what calls heself leftisthebest? It'll be the plank or a rope swing from the yardarm! Aaaargh!"Crap. We could have had fun with this all day long. The above website has "get your own pirate name" links and all sorts of pirate phrases to use as you prepare to board and pillage traffic stops tonight. Go. Visit. Now! Aaaargh!
UPDATE: use this post for your best pirate jokes as a couple people already have.
posted by SCC at 4:00 PM
15 Comments:
This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants.
The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
And the pirate says...
Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
What do you call a pedophile pirate??.... AARRRRGGH Kelly!!...
Very funny jokes the last 2 anonymous posts. Leftisthebest, did you forget the punchline or something. I just don't get it.
Thanks for the Real Time with Bill Maher posts Lefty.
Little Johnny goes to his grandpa's house wearing his pirate hat.
Grandpa says, "Hey Johnny, that's a neat pirate hat you have there. Where are your buckineers" ?
Johnny says, "Under my buckin' hat" !
Yarrr! Cronin, he still be a prick, yee see!
Limpdickisthebest forgot the punchline because he wasn't talking about himself.
A pirate walks into a bar.....
He is followed in by MEEKS, Jesse JACKSON and the female cops that just returned from the Washington DC deployment.
OOOPPPPPSSSSSS sorry can't talk about this, I forgot!
Ladies and Gentlemen please strike those statements from the record...
What has eight legs, eight arms and eight eyes?
eight pirates......ARRRRRRR
why are pirates so mean?
they just AHRRRRRR
What kind of socks does a pirate wear? ARRRRRRgile
TO POST 2:21 Do the math-that would be four pirates.
Not if they had peg legs, hooks and eyepatches dumbass
Will the jag who keeps talking about this female P.O. orgy thing in D.C. cut it out. You are probably some rub sitting in front of your computer in your tightie whities pissed off at some female for giving you the cold shoulder or leaving your ass. Cut it out already, it is old. Stop fabricating the b.s. stories which we all know you would definitely not get an invite to anyway; even if they did take place.
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