Sunday, April 19, 2009

Smile Cub Fans!

Funny stuff people:

A student of proctology is in the morgue one day after classes, getting a little practice in before the final exams. He goes over to a table where a body is lying face down. He uncovers the sheet over the body, and to his surprise he finds a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring that this is fairly unusual, he pulls the cork out, and to his surprise, the rectum starts singing, "Hey Chicago what do you say... the Cubs are gonna win today"

The student is amazed, and places the cork back in the backside. The music stops. Totally freaked out, the student calls the Medical Examiner over to the corpse. "Look at this, this is really something," the student tells the examiner as he pulls the cork back out again. "Hey Chicago what do you say... the Cubs are gonna win today"

"So what?" the Medical Examiner replies, obviously unimpressed with the discovery.

"But isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" asked the student.

"Are you kidding?" replied the Examiner, "I've heard thousands of assholes sing that stupid song."

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45 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose John Ligue and the hill billy south siders version of Bob Seger's "like a rock" after every sox game is a much better salute... Stop hating, SCC, just because NOBODY IN THIS COUNTRY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE WHITE SOX!!! As a matter of fact, the only Sox in MLB that anyone recognizes are the RED sox... The sux are nothing but a third rate after thought... Sorry, hill billies... you will ALWAYS be Chicago's second team!

4/19/2009 12:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that really hits the nail on the head.

4/19/2009 12:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cubs win... cards lost... bulls win... hawks win... sox fans are still the biggest bunch of degenerate ass clowns this side of the earth! Yes... it is a great day!

4/19/2009 12:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

remember sox fans, you got Daley and Husseln Obama

4/19/2009 12:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GO SOX!

4/19/2009 01:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thougt th punch line was going to be " another Cub fan talking out of his ass". LMAO!

4/19/2009 01:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha Ha, I'm drunk and don't know how to be pissed off and laugh at the same time. Now Daley come break into my house and test me.

4/19/2009 03:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The number one reason the sox organization did not come up with a song is because southsiders can't sing with all their teeth missing

4/19/2009 05:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Sox Fan said...

But at least the SOX went all the way to the W.S. and won. The CUBS can NEVER say that . Why , because they are LOSERS just like their fans .

4/19/2009 06:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Squirrel night next Friday at the cell.

4/19/2009 06:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose John Ligue and the hill billy south siders version of Bob Seger's "like a rock" after every sox game is a much better salute... Stop hating, SCC, just because NOBODY IN THIS COUNTRY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE WHITE SOX!!! As a matter of fact, the only Sox in MLB that anyone recognizes are the RED sox... The sux are nothing but a third rate after thought... Sorry, hill billies... you will ALWAYS be Chicago's second team!

4/19/2009 12:06:00 AM

When did the Scubs win that World Series ??

4/19/2009 08:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lmao... You cub fans are the haters. You can't even take a joke... At the end of the day (or decade) when was the last time Cubs won a world series?.... That's what I thought.

4/19/2009 08:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Darth Vader said...

Feel the hate, Luke. The Dark Side calls you North. Give yourself over to the cubby side. We'll sacrifice goats and feel good about ourselves. The yuppies and the liberals will follow us and you will know the power of Dark Side.

4/19/2009 09:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The number one reason the sox organization did not come up with a song is because southsiders can't sing with all their teeth missing

4/19/2009 05:15:00 AM

Better not to sing than to sing that lame-ass cumbaya cub's song. Now go hug a tree you yuppie.

4/19/2009 09:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lt. J.g.C. was the originator. lil Donny was in charge of the cork.

4/19/2009 09:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok suxbillies, go reach into the hatchback of your rusty 82 camaro z28 go into your cooler and get out a can of coors! you deserve it after that looser of a joke.

4/19/2009 10:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Teeth or not, second rate team or whatever. The one thing the Sox will always have over the Cubs is a World Series victory. Until then keep quiet

4/19/2009 10:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It amazes me every year how much energy Sox fans, oh yeah the true baseball fans in their minds, spend worrying about or hating the Cubs and their fans. If they spent half their Cub hating energy on the Sox imagine how much better they’d feel about their own team. And yes we fill Wrigley win or lose, like true fans do that support their team. I couldn’t care less about the Sox unless they are playing the Cubs.

Of course I was at one of the Cubs/Cards’ games the other day and realize why they sell out each game. Two different groups of morons in full Sox gear walking around spewing crap out of their mouths, oblivious to the game going on, just like Cub fans are accused of doing. I guess they’ve given up on seeing quality baseball at the Smell and have realized Wrigley is the place to be.

By the way, heard that joke about three years ago only the song was “Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye” but I’m glad to see the Jerry Springeresque Sox fans finally figured out a way to change it to get us Cub fans, your mommy’s must be proud.

4/19/2009 10:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not funny scc. you toothless wonders from canaryville and bridgeport wish you had fans to show up and sing a song...bunch of fair weather ass hats. stop hating and keep obama and daley....j-pud is s sux fan too i heard from a birdie at headquarters!!

4/19/2009 10:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya made me spit my coffee out on that one! Too funny!

4/19/2009 10:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not funnyhttp://CubHub.net/wrigley/GoCubsGo.htmok, maybe a *little* funny..

4/19/2009 10:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Cubs are the only business in history that can lose for 101 years and still be in business. Could you imagine Budweiser racking up 101 years of losing money and still be open! That is the biggest pussy song and it fits like a glove. Just remember Cub fans, the sox have won two and thrown one world series since the cubs have won!

4/19/2009 10:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have any of you seen the you tube video when supposedly the Chumps won the world series? Any true Cub fan would see they didn't win s***. It's okay all you CUB fans keeping blaming the curse and hanging your goats. You see the light when you travel to the south side...

4/19/2009 11:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose John Ligue and the hill billy south siders version of Bob Seger's "like a rock" after every sox game is a much better salute... Stop hating, SCC, just because NOBODY IN THIS COUNTRY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE WHITE SOX!!! As a matter of fact, the only Sox in MLB that anyone recognizes are the RED sox... The sux are nothing but a third rate after thought... Sorry, hill billies... you will ALWAYS be Chicago's second team!
-____________________________________

Without Wrigley field and channel 9 the Scrubs would have been gone a long time ago! Now go find you're cork and STFU!

4/19/2009 11:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think if we need alchol testing then the altercreachers need testing because they have the right to carry guns and make laws to follow.the odds are against them only 13 dui arrest for police at 13999 man power according to stats.and 1 arrest for the altercreachers at 50 strong .if are union pushes this idea maybe they will reconsider this thought.

4/19/2009 12:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I take it you're a Sox fan?

4/19/2009 12:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cub fans support their team at the ballpark, even in last place they sell the place out.

When the White Sox were the World Champions of Baseball and they had to still have 1/2 price nights to even get the place 3/4 full.

What does that say about loyalty?

4/19/2009 01:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE -- THAT'S FUNNY

I WAS WATCHING THE FINAL GAME OF THE 2005 WORLD SERIES ON THE BIG SCREENS AT THE OEMC. AFTER THE FINAL OUT SOMEONE CAME OVER CITYWIDE 5 AND SAID "HEY CUBS FANS -- SUCK ON THAT" THAT WAS GOOD TOO.

4/19/2009 03:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be nice. You know now it's politically correct to to call them mentally challenged instead of retarded. They're even rallying to get the word "retard" omitted from the english language. They're nice people once to get to know them.
What? I thought we were discussing the mentally handicapped.
Cubs Fans? Sorry, that's a birth defect, too.

4/19/2009 04:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

North side LOU zers!!!

4/19/2009 04:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Hate Sux said...

How does it feel to win a world series, and nobody gives a fuck?

Except of course the midget on the fifth floor.

4/19/2009 09:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's that Cub fans? Wait till next year you say? EVERY year? Awwwww it's okay. We dont waste any energy on hating the cubs, it just comes naturally, they make it so easy. Wait!! What's that?? I hear choking. Is it near playoff time yet for the flubs? You north side losers can sell out your park no matter what that's outstanding! Must like the smell of urine

4/19/2009 09:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What does that say about loyalty?

4/19/2009 01:16:00 PM"


What does that say about stupidity?


No wonder the cubs are called 'lovable losers'.

They're an accurate reflection of their fans.

4/19/2009 10:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some moron stated that the Sox have Daley and Obama(as fans). I wonder if they took a poll of Cub fans, how many would say that they voted for Obama. Probably most of them as most live in the north and northwest suburbs and are total liberals.

Ever notice that liberal and asshole have the same number of letters?

Love, Steve Bartman

4/19/2009 11:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

**ok suxbillies, go reach into the hatchback of your rusty 82 camaro z28 go into your cooler and get out a can of coors! you deserve it after that looser of a joke.**

Good times my friend, Good times!!
Then I'll go get my picture taken in front of the World Series trophy and remember the "dropped 3rd strike" game I saw at the cell and all the great moments from the 05 WS. And if I were lucky enough to have an old rusty 82 z28 camaro I'd grab a few more coors lights from the cooler and hand them to all my friends. Then I'd have relations with some anonymous trailer trash hottie. Good times my friend, good times.

4/20/2009 12:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AAAhhhh yes! the hillbilly sox fans
who have mental problems must show us cub fans how much the cubs suck.

well we as cubs fans don't care about the sox.

your comments only show your lack of class or baseball knowledge.

sox have won 3 world series, 2005
being the lowest, since tv was invented,rated world series ever!

the cubs have won two.
so what! the white sox ain't the yankees so STFU already!

4/20/2009 01:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"sox have won 3 world series, 2005
being the lowest, since tv was invented,rated world series ever!"

...at least TV existed when the Sox won...

100 years + 2 Major League teams = 1 World Series. Go Sox!

4/20/2009 06:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The number one reason the sox organization did not come up with a song is because southsiders can't sing with all their teeth missing


So that's why you gave Ronnie "WOO WOO" dentures. So you can use that joke again. Loser Woo! Cubs Woo! Loser! Wooo!

4/20/2009 10:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes tv did exist when the sox won
but no one watched the sox in 2005,
some things don't change. ronnie woo woo lives 2 blocks from sox park. i beleive he was sent by sox fans as a double agent.

100 years one world series win for the sox and still and forever the second team in town! the sox could win 100 world series titles and no one will ever ever care, cry little sox fans cry, please tell me how the cubs suck! hahahahahaha
boo hoo look at my world series ring look at it!!!!! please pay attention to me!!!! sox fans your so pathetic.

4/20/2009 05:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great joke, SCC! Here's a video on YouTube for all the Cubs fans out there. Go White Sox!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrobcJa_EV8

4/20/2009 06:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barry Obama is the self proclaimed #1 White Sox fan.........'nuff said.

4/20/2009 07:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's crazy how all you Cubbie fans out there immediately thought it was a Sox fan had something to do with that joke when there was nothing there to indicate it!

When will you realize that not only Sox and Cards fans think you are chumps?

Touchy, touchy, touchy.

Enjoy your season with Lose Vanilla and the Crew.

4/20/2009 10:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was a Cubs fan for years, but last season was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Ironically, the White Sox win is the biggest thing driving the Cubs. They lost a lot of fans last year.

Aside from the Sox' win, they have no incentive to win the World Series.

The fans are dumb enough to pay and fill Wrigley up every day, so why should they bother?

Regardless of what you say about the Sox, at least they've managed to WIN the big one. That's more than we can say about the Cubs.

Support "your team" all you like, but only one CHICAGO team has managed to win it all in my lifetime.

4/21/2009 01:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

01:26:00 AM is right. I lost all faith in the cubs when my 8 year old asked how come they cubs never are in the world series.

I may not be a sox fan, but I'm DONE with the cubs!!!

4/22/2009 12:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I disagree that "nobody cares".

If you're a GENUINE Chicago baseball fan, you should be proud.

Regardless if you're a Cubs or Sox fan, you've got to give the Sox props; They won the big one.

If you really didn't care, you wouldn't have responded.

Like my ex-partner says, the only games that count happen in October.

4/22/2009 09:51:00 AM  

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