Sunday, March 28, 2010

Updating Graft and Corruption

  • In an effort to streamline unethical practices and boost illegal profiteering, Mayor Richard M. Daley announced sweeping new plans Monday to overhaul his city's "antiquated" system of graft.

    According to Daley, Chicago's once-great fraudulent institutions have grown obsolete, and City Hall is no longer bilking taxpayers out of as much money as it once did.

    "It's been business as usual for too long in Chicago, and now it's time to find more efficient ways to misuse authority for personal gain," said Daley, who has served as Chicago's mayor since 1989. "We must modernize our illegitimate activities right now, today, before it becomes impossible for public officials to act in my best self-interests."

Yes, we know it's satire. We only wish we wrote it. Go read the whole thing.

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21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can not take much more of this! This Da Mayo daley that I helped 25 yea rs ago grow to power has GOT TO BE STOPPED!!!!! He is a Disgrace!!!! HE MUST BE VOTED OUTTT!!! I dont care if Gilligan or Mr Magoo beats DA MAYO he has to go for a normal political system to work. He hides in sheeps clothing !!!! I know Da Mayo, I worked for Da Mayo!!! He is NOT good for the health of the city! I am not a loyal subject who is digruntled but someone who believed his message 25 years ago! He is a BUM!!! He Must Go!!! Da Mayo is a pesilence to the city of Chicago!!!!

3/28/2010 04:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would be funny if not for the fact that it's 90% actual truth !!

3/28/2010 04:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So does this mean the city has more money for our retro checks. Ha.

3/28/2010 04:59:00 AM  
Anonymous MAD AS HELL! said...

It's not just the late night talk show comedians, Saturday Night Live and now with the Chicago-spawned "OBAMANATION" in the White House, even conservative political pundits refer to "Chicago-style thuggery" on a national level. Our city remains the political corruption laughingstock of the nation. Kudos to The Onion for their brilliant satire on Sodom and Gomorrah on the Lake.

Chicago, CRook County and the State of Ill-Annoy cry out for:

(1) term limits,
(2) a recall referendum initiative
(3) like Australia, legislate compulsory voting for ALL eligible citizens with penalties for failure to vote. (with early voting, you have three full weeks--not just one Tuesday--to exercise your civic duty at about 50 locations throughout the city, regardless of your ward and precinct)
(4)all citizens (and certainly police officers) make sure that all friends, neighbors and extended family VOTE these shamelessly crooked incumbents out of office.

This is NOT a joke. It's PATHETIC. Apathy and stupidity are our worst enemies.

3/28/2010 06:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kept rubbing my eyes, thinking I was still asleep!

Very funny.

3/28/2010 06:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you notice some crews were taking down buildings and homes in Bensenville for the new runway? Where is that money coming from? Have the airlines changed their minds and do they now want a new runway?

3/28/2010 06:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you will get to retire at 67 boys and girls the city is out of money wtf i bet the police come out to vote this time rich is going to run i saw a sign on 23 street just off the rayan but on it

3/28/2010 07:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the Meathead that "helped" 25yrs ago. Honestly, it took you 25 yrs to figure it out? And now you want him out? I lived in the same neighborhood as Little Dick and new back when he was an ASA he was the worst choice for the city. But you and the rest of the fools voted for him. You deserve a lifetime of this madness because of that. Remember, you elected him.

3/28/2010 09:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

**********This just in*************
Wow! More airport follies! Amazing but true, seems a certain female sgt working days at midway is undermining a female Lt. Commanding officer! Oh no! This Sgt., is creating a "hostile working environment," and she will be surprised when the "papers are deliverd" directly on her lap. Talk about an unhappy person,she needs to retire already it's about time, maybe she could relocate to her summer cottage and just stay there! Promoted threw clout maybe she needs to, follow her heartless thoughts and leave. Another Sgt who talks badly about the boss, putting ideas in the commnading officers head which are totally untrue,and is lowering morale to all time low! Sgt "M" time to retire, maybe you could work somewhere you good,i dunno maybe the psych ward at a hospital. no that would not work as they would admit you as a patient! We are getting 2 new coppers and seems like she is not happy as 1 copper is a secretary for a big boss,and will be working days,and then she tells everyone that she will "bounce back" to 35th to fill in for the big boss! Never in my esteemed career have anyone seen such a jealous boss!

3/28/2010 10:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daley is taking everything the city has for him his friends and family. That leaves nothing less and we have to make up for that with more taxs.... This guy thinks he is untouchable...

3/28/2010 10:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remember Meigs Field? anyone remember how much the city (daley) caused to be spent after the fact defending daley's criminal behavior? I don't recall this in the Tribune or in Mary Mitchell's column.
---

(from 2006)

Three years after Mayor Richard M. Daley ordered the bulldozing of Meigs Field, the legal bills continue to rise.

The city of Chicago has spent more than $200,000 on outside lawyers to appeal a $33,000 fine the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) imposed, and the meter is still running.

Another matter, an FAA investigation of whether the city illegally used $2.9 million in airport development funds to deactivate Meigs, has cost the city even more in legal fees.

As of mid-June, the Washington, D.C. office of law firm Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman LLP has billed the city almost $550,000 for handling both issues, according to a spokeswoman for Chicago
Corporation Counsel Mara Georges. About 40% of the bill is related to appealing the fine; the rest is tied to the diversion-of-funds investigation.
---

but no money for a police contract, no money for computers or decent squad cars, plenty of money for the Olympics and to defend daley's criminal activities.

DUMP DALEY FEB 2011

3/28/2010 11:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We all know #4 is already up and running.

3/28/2010 02:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TRUE BEYOND BELIEF!!!
I'd love the International news to pick up that story!!!

3/28/2010 05:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Onion news story is more accurate than the Chicago Sun Times or Tribune.

3/28/2010 05:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would be funny if not for the fact that it's 90% actual truth !!

3/28/2010 04:53:00 AM

So true, but I think you are off. I think it is 95% truth.

3/28/2010 05:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

/28/2010 05:37:00 PM

Anonymous said...
The Onion news story is more accurate than the Chicago Sun Times or Tribune.

3/28/2010 05:38:00 PM
PLEEEEASSSE...WE ALL KNOW BOTH NEWSPAPERS ARE IN BED WITH THE CITY. Just look at how all police issues are page one but DA MAYORS and his families corruption usually end up on page 12

3/28/2010 06:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why no investigative reporting on the O'hare overhang fiasco. Engineering mistakes co$ting million$, but not a peep from the media.

3/28/2010 08:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Did you notice some crews were taking down buildings and homes in Bensenville for the new runway? Where is that money coming from? Have the airlines changed their minds and do they now want a new runway?

3/28/2010 06:44:00 AM

-----------------------------


They're getting new runways whether they want them or not. And they're going to build me a new terminal while they're at it.

Love,
Shorty.

3/28/2010 09:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I approve of this humor

that is all

3/29/2010 04:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3/28/2010 10:22:00 AM

But yet they dunp a bid hispanic Sergeant who was well liked,he bid back in and was #1 on the bid but again denied, think this diabolical SGT "m" on days had something to do with this?

The hispanic SGT had no bad time, when here,but the Sgt your talking about took a 10 day suspension. But strangely her paycheck is getting extra pay every check due to some obviously rigged bullshit lawsuit. Why was she not dumped?

Was the hispanic SGT targeted due to race? I know this SGT you referring to is intimidated by other woman,as no man would date her with her extremely poor attitude!

Undermining bosses especially when you have a cush job as a do nothing, should not be tolerated, oh well same old same old "hunky dorie"!

3/29/2010 01:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
**********This just in*************
Wow! More airport follies! Amazing but true, seems a certain female sgt working days at midway is undermining a female Lt. Commanding officer! Oh no! This Sgt., is creating a "hostile working environment," and she will be surprised when the "papers are deliverd" directly on her lap. Talk about an unhappy person,she needs to retire already it's about time, maybe she could relocate to her summer cottage and just stay there! Promoted threw clout maybe she needs to, follow her heartless thoughts and leave. Another Sgt who talks badly about the boss, putting ideas in the commnading officers head which are totally untrue,and is lowering morale to all time low! Sgt "M" time to retire, maybe you could work somewhere you good,i dunno maybe the psych ward at a hospital. no that would not work as they would admit you as a patient! We are getting 2 new coppers and seems like she is not happy as 1 copper is a secretary for a big boss,and will be working days,and then she tells everyone that she will "bounce back" to 35th to fill in for the big boss! Never in my esteemed career have anyone seen such a jealous boss!

3/28/2010 10:22:00 AM

Would that be the same 1 who sued the department is now getting extra cash added on her paycheck? The same one who talks bad about the bosses over her? Yep that would be her! An older officer was berated by her and the officer was rushed to the hospital with a posible heart attack due to her ignorance! She is just another of the deeper problems on CPD, You would think way she talks about the Supt and Peterson something would be done but as usual nothing gets done! Would be nice to see her moved and soon!!! Naw! bosses are to scared of the "big girl"!

3/29/2010 04:42:00 PM  

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