One Bad-Ass Clown
- An off-duty Chicago police officer dressed up as a clown for a South Side fundraiser shot and killed a teen who held him at gunpoint tonight after the event, authorities said, citing preliminary information.
The officer, who is assigned to the Near North police district, was in his clown outfit for a fundraiser for a day-care business, attended by about 50 children near West 87th Street and South Damen Avenue.
At 10:10 p.m. after the event ended, the officer went to his car and a teen approached him, asking him for money, authorities said. When the officer said he had no money, the teen pulled a gun on him, authorities said.
During a struggle with the teen, the officer grabbed hold of the gun, opened fire and killed him.
Who's laughing now!!!! We mean, seriously. Who the hell tries to rob a clown at a charity event? Aside from the car, what's he going to take? The squeaky shoes? The red nose? A few balloon animals?
A damn fine job Officer.
A damn fine job Officer.
Labels: shooting, un-fucking-believable
posted by SCC at 7:01 AM
233 Comments:
And the ghetto rats will cry: "He was only clowning" and "he thoughts it was just a water gun, they didn't have to do him like dat!!".
An apparently easy target. A surprise response.
We need a few dozen more of these to get the message across to the poor, underprivileged utes.
DON'T TAKE WHAT AIN'T YOURS. You might live longer.
Another illustration of the need for concealed carry for ALL citizens.
"Homey" the clown "dont't play dat!"
AWESOME Job! Krusty da Clown!
One less entitlement asshole to mooch of the taxpayers!
Da Pelon
G mac has a new strategy the insane clown posse.
Classic Tribune too... "a teen". Meaning this guy could have been 18 or 19 years old.
Thats the best story Ive heard
"...I don't think so."
"Homey don't play dat!"
Cha-chink... Blaaoowwwwwwwww.
Did you see the pay listed for these Independent Police Review Authority investigators $114,000 plus
Even cannibals don't eat clowns.
They taste funny.
He wasn't cloning around.
So kid, who's the Bozo now...Huh, huh?
I had an uncle who was a circus clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Smooth. Thanks to the officer for saving the taxpayer the hundreds of thousands of dollars it would have cost to do a trial, appeals, incarceration at $50K+ per year for what would have undoubtedly been a long and unproductive criminal career,etc.. There's a lesson in here somewhere, and it's not "clowns are creepy so don't fuck with them". Perhaps a study should be done on the benefits to society of arranging to be able to confront armed criminals while they have a gun in their hand. Oh wait, I just covered it, never mind.
"Wilding" activities + robbery stakeout squad a la NYPD = problem solved on multiple levels.
Homey don't play that.
homie don't play that!
Dat one bad ass Bozo, beeyoch!
Homie don't play dat shit! I'll stick that gun up your ass, boy!
Homey don't play that.
Oh man that's funny...
Funny like I'm a clown? I make you laugh? I'm here to *$@'N amuse you?
This just reemphasizes my deep seated fear of clowns.
Hurray for Coppo The Clown! Watch me pull a gun out of my hat!
Seems homey didnt play dat huh!
Comments from a few weeks back:
OT I need to get from Madison and Wabash to Union Station weeknights at 10 pm....Any ideas on how to avoid these punks ? Any way to walk it or should I cab/bus it ? OC only goes so far.
Posted: 6/01/2011 05:15:00 PM
...--
Wear a 12" long strap-on over your pants and put a clown mask on your head...I GUARANTEE nobody will mess with you.
Posted: 6/02/2011 02:11:00 AM
I’m guessing that Guarantee is not as rock solid as previouslly thought.
I almost spit out my coffee this morning laughing so hard- that is fuckingfantastic lol
Take that dirt bag!!!! Great Job!!!
You never ever know when you'll be in this situation. In 1988 in Oak Lawn as I got out of a pizza joint, a "young teenager" (since we can't mention the race anymore) approached me and pointed a revolver. He said give me your cash and I complied. With his gun still pointed, he slowly walked backwards and then ran as fast as lightning. By the time I took out my gun he ran through the parking lot and into the alley and disappeared. This can happen to anyone, even us the police. I am glad it worked out.
Do u like clowns Kramer?
hommie da clown, never mess around!
Dude won't be doin' no-mo clownin! But his last skit was a funny one! He picked the wrong clown to victimize and shit backfired on him! Was he a CPS honor-roll student? If so, he didn't even make it to the first day of summer vacation!
Congratulations to the officer. You saved your own life and the lives of countless future victims. All respect to you!
Hey! Dat clown be packin' heat!! Don't he know victims can't carry cuz our liberal brethern took dat right away. If dis trend spreads, I might have ta go legit!!
Homie the clown don't mess around...cuz Homie don't play dat!! Never try to rob a man dressed like a clown!!
Glad your ok brother, I know who you are! LOL good Job! Who the hell tries to rob a clown...!!!! Only an idiot. Good thing he will no longer be able to contaminate the world by procreating,ha!
I always knew there's something wrong with those Clowns!! Lol.. Good Job, Officer. You all made us proud to be a CPD. We need that kind of encouragement.. God Bless
bye bye dickhead
welcome to hell motherfucker
I LOVE THIS, 1st of all Officer thank God your OK, secondly you know your name from now on includes "the clown", I hope your first name is like Joey or Vinny or Mikey:)
Nice job, Bozo!
That's the answer...
Send in the Clowns!
The new 2nd Deputy.....?
GREAT F$&KING JOB!
Watch this clown get the Lamber Tree (deservedly so) now....
What say you Al?
Time to bring Chalkie back!
Robbing a clown is just wrong on so many levels..But the outcome put a smile on my face..I guess clowns are funny after all!
OUTSTANDING JOB OFFICER! Glad you're OK.
I can't comment, I'm still laughing!!!!
I thought you said 'if you wear a clown mask and a strap on, no one will bother you'? you could have gotten me killed.
Nice job, Office.
SSC and Folks,
Long time reader, first time poster. In Chicago at McCormick and have a free day. Put off a bit by the flashmob stuff. Is Mag Mile, Navy Pier worth doing, or as an old fat white guy with a bum leg, am I just a large slow target?
Strange, but I've spent quite a bit of time in NYC and never felt unsafe, but there is a vibe in Chicago right now that is.. Unsettling.
Larry from Rochester
Yu messin' wif the MAN?
Homey don't play dat! BANG
And the thinning of the heard continues,Way to go Officer!!!!!!!!!!!!!Bozos circus is on the air.Da da dadada da da da da da dum...
bet it was a CPS Honor roll student
The ODP/O might have been dressed as a clown, BUT, he wasn't clowning around.
Please remember, always, always and I mean always have a sidearm w/ you...its better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
And YES! It is that dangerous out there.
i don't think so!
homie don't play that
Offender's scar/mark/tattoo:
tattoo,Chest- "Laugh now, cry later"
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.
Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
---
Is this why some people have a phobia about clowns? I know a guy who is scared of clowns and midgets.
Homey don't play dat shit!
What do you mean I'm funny?
...
It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
...
It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Homey don't play that game! lol..
See nobody would listen to me, I kept telling people that "HOMEY the Clown" was alive and well!!!
How cool is that?
"sennnnd in......the clowns"
FINALLY, TRUE JUSTICE ARRIVES IN Crookago, Felonois !
The perp thought the clown just got paid for entertainning the kids. Easy payday.
ummmm...do we really need to answer that question, SCC???
Yes! Kill more of these animals! The only thing that would have made this story better would have been if the clown ended up being an ordinary citizen that stood up for himself and refused to be a victim.
Good job officer.
-Edison Park resident
Thats the best story ever! One more reason to be afraid of clowns.
Hope the clowns at 35th st enjoy the story as much as I did. Fine job office.
Check out the Movie Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
Waaaayyy better than the last time a clown was killing teens in Chicago.
Forget about the crisp $50 bill and the new Schwinn bicycle.
Let the clown jokes begin.
Solution to the wilding 'flash' mobs: send in the clowns!
Isn't is rich, are we a pair, me in my clown suit, you in despair. Send in the clowns, there ought to be clowns, don't bother they're here! Bang! Bang!
Maybe there is a new urban fashion trend we haven't seen around here yet.
Its so hard to keep up with fashion.
What was the clown that was on the Wayans show? Perhaps that is the new trend.
great job clown...now make me a bike.
a clown? wow times are tuff huh. prob not enough time to get special i guess.
Homey don't play that.... Whap!
Sounds like something right out of a Stephen King Novel. Somebody messed w/The "IT" Clown.
! of the better King Books too. Poetic Justice indeed!
don't fuck with a clown
I hope he squirted him with the flower too!
What the story doesn't tell is that after the first clown got atacked, the other 14 bailed out of the car and came to his aid..
He didn't shoot him, he beat him with his nylon filled with grapefruits!
HOmey don't play that!!
Was it the hip hop clown?
Homie don't play dat lol
"You mean I'm funny, like a clown, I make you laugh . . .!"
Tribune very quick to post the pictures of the 2 white people nabbed for robberies on the north side. "Look, white people are the criminals!"
OT. Was in 18 yesterday and saw 3 mounted units N/B on Rush. One of the horses had strange headgear on. Pulled up next to them and inquired what it was. Plate reader mounted on the horse Im told. Believe it or not.
This is the land of Bozo, don't clown with Bozo!
And then the Copper said "Homie don't play that, as he hit him with a balled up sock, full of lead"
Happy Father's Day!
Homey dont play that.
Mama said the teen didn't intend to rob the odpo. She stated "he was just clownin around".
"What do you mean I'm funny,funny how? You mean funny like a clown?"BAAAAAM
I heard the officer/clown said "Homie don't play dat" as he squeezed the trigger!
Like the late comic Robin Harris used to say, Gotta go gotta go. Thanks to the CPD for making Chicago safer one asshole at a time. Thanks again.
This could have ended so tragically- I know the clown scenario makes for gallows humor, but...all I can think is thank God it turned out the way it did. GREAT job, officer!!
We need about 2,000 more clowns, stat!
My god, the asshole's last thought must have been priceless....
Don't know if you saw this, but the original headline for that story read:
"Off-duty cop dressed as a clown shoots, kills teen"
The Trib changed the headline some time this morning.
heh http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T3MsVX7gSew/TfxZK14UUVI/AAAAAAAAAG8/blZh_8tphVM/s1600/clown%2Bgun%2Bpolice%2Brobbery%2Bdamen%2Bave.jpg
These young misguided shit heads are really fucking stupid. Will the Chicago Public School system pick up his funeral expenses? That is the question!!!
homey dont play dat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCms6hmcbtY&playnext=1&list=PLEF3AEC384F1FB44D
it went down like this:
street deputy: officer?, what happened?
officer: honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk,, honk.
street deputy: he pulled a gun and announced a robbery?
officer: honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk.
street deputy: good job officer glad your safe.
officer: honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, fuckin shithead.
Homey don't play dat!
I guess he wasn't clowning around
if they were smart they'd be dangerous.
homie dee clown !
Let's here it for the good guys! Beep Beep
Dont mess with Ding Dong....The Clown....Hommie!!!
Simmons don't play dat game.
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
WHOOO!
HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!!
Man would we LOOOOVE to buy this copper few drinks!
And wouldn't ya know it SCC, Breaking (wind) News has disabled comments on this.
Fuckit... We're gonna have a pour of the good shit RIGHT FUNKIN' NOW to celebrate this very fine occasion!
Can you imagine the look on the "road scholar's" face when he "saw the flash?"
The mortician won't be able to take the !O_o? expression off his face!
Just imagine the conversation with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates...
"So... My son. How is it you ended up here?
!O_o?
"Uhhh... A clown kilt me!"
"Ahhh... So it is you that is he, hmmm?"
*DING*
Elevator door opens with flames shooting out
"Chalkie the Clown." Is that you?
Nice work officer. Wouldn't the late, unlamented ghetto rat have been shocked - SHOCKED, I TELL YOU! had the officer opened the door of his car and out popped lord knows how many back up clowns!
LOL! Feed 'em fish!
This incident gives a whole new meaning and appreciation to the phrase "hoisted upon one's own petard!"
I love it. Like a scene right out of "Shakes the Clown".
Miami lady here,
I read this story on Drudge this morning. Loved it!!
Love this blog, too.
And really love Cops!
Stay safe guys.
I'm glad to hear the bad guy got what he deserved. What are the odds that the clown was an off-duty? If he was a non-sworn civilian he would be another victim or possibly even dead.
Concealed Carry would help even the playing field and make the scum-bag criminals hesitate a little bit. It's ridiculous the general public can't protect themselves because they live in ILLINOIS and/or the communist city of Chicago, etc..
As we all know the police can't be everywhere all the time. Surprisingly Wisconsin has finally passed some right-to-carry legislation. The only state left in the union with nothing is IL.
I say SCREW YOU former Mayor Daley, current Gov Quinn, and Mayor Emmanuel...
Great job Officer! Glad your safe
There's no clowning around with you, that's for sure!
Luckily, the episode did not end with the distress call: "clown down! clown down!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgyGEkt3wfY
No wonder little kids are afraid of Clowns!
This is the type of shit made for movies. Only in Chicago does the bizzarre become the norm. You gotta love the shitheads. Bright as a burned out light bulb.
Momma says, "My baby ain't got no gun- they done planted it up on him."
Like the clown character in the T.V. series "In Living Color" stated, "Homie don't play that"
Anonymous Anonymous said...
SSC and Folks,
Long time reader, first time poster. In Chicago at McCormick and have a free day. Put off a bit by the flashmob stuff. Is Mag Mile, Navy Pier worth doing, or as an old fat white guy with a bum leg, am I just a large slow target?
Strange, but I've spent quite a bit of time in NYC and never felt unsafe, but there is a vibe in Chicago right now that is.. Unsettling.
Larry from Rochester
6/18/2011 09:51:00 AM
You should be fine. The worst thing decent people can do is give up to fear and not live their life normally.
SCC, I have never laughed soooo much since the inception of secondcity, I proclaim that the Officer should Never & Ever have to buy his own drink, we owe it to you. Man this stuff is beyond real. On behalf of Barum & Bailey we present you with this honorable mention, we would have given you a ribbon but the clowns that design these things are on furlo.
The department needs more of this kind of clown, not the kind currently in charge!
Clown fetishes can be bad for one's health!
Wear a 12" long strap-on over your pants and put a clown mask on your head...I GUARANTEE nobody will mess with you.
Posted: 6/02/2011 02:11:00 AM
I’m guessing that Guarantee is not as rock solid as previouslly thought.
Who would have thought...
Why the he'll is Ed Burke being driven around Damen/Homer at 0940hrs? Driver you are a fucking sellout.
Word from 35th is the new unit will be the Insane Clown Posse !
This reminds me I need to rent "Shakes the Clown".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwkTb6SMEIw
It's the Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies.
In it there is a whole badass clown hierarchy.
With Rodeo clowns at the top, circus clowns in the middle, and then the dreaded mimes.
I'm torn here. The Cop/Clown who did this clearly needs a merit promotion. However, the merit promotees are already overbooked on clowns of a different type.
Anyway I'm glad it worked out well. Like any good circus act the good guys always win at the end.
I'm not playing the Grand Prize game with that guy!
Ding Dong the shitheads dead!
The vocabulary word for today should be: be-clown-ed, verb
This word seems to have enjoyed a resurgence of popularity recently, usually as a contemptuous statement that someone has "beclowned himself." It is indeed a long-attested word, rather than a newly coined word. From 1609 Rowlands Crew Gossips 24, "O wretch, O Lob, who would be thus beclown'd?"
In modern usage, to make a complete idiot of oneself in public. To behave or speak in such a way, or to make a comment or express an opinion that is so profoundly witless, senseless and obtuse, that one is forever after defined as a person of comical value only, never to be taken seriously again. Of worth only as an object of ridicule and derision. "The armed and wretched teen thug was thus beclowned by an off duty police officer."
Killer Klown Kills Kocky Kid.....
Thank you officer, you made my day!!! I am very glad u r ok. Maybe the new supe can put up a specialized unit of undercover clowns
"use of firearm" must have been an elective at Clown College
Aside from the car, what's he going to take?... He wouldn't have taken the car, about 50 of the clowns friends were already in there waiting to leave.
My god, the asshole's last thought must have been priceless....
6/18/2011 03:20:00 PM
Was thinking the same thing! Capped by a clown, damnnnnnnn.
Good job clown....now build me a bike! -there! There you go you little hyena!
OT....read this article about immigration...the last sentence says it all www.policeone.com/federal-law-enforcement/articles/3832735-ICE-announces-changes-to-immigration-enforcement/
witnesses at scene related the following: When confronted, the Clown squirted the offender with a flower, then struck him in the face with a pie. Then, while the offender was stunned, the clown produced an ACME Instant Hole and threw it on the ground, tripping the offender. At this point, the offender was engulfed in Silly String while the clown drew his weapon, pulled the trigger, striking the offender with a large boxing glove. Witnesses further related that a small brightly colored SMART car screeched to a halt, at which time 35 Clowns jumped out and beat the offender with giant rubber mallets. A cartoon ambulance arrived, transporting the offender to Neverland Hospital, where Dr's Moe, Larry & Curly worked for 9 hours to remove a size 28DDD red plastic shoe from the offender's a**. Great Job Officer!
Bring in the clowns new 35th street strategy
I hope his seltzer bottle was registered.
I had an uncle who was a circus clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
6/18/2011 08:06:00 AM
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Coppers are some funny mofos! I retired a few months ago and over my career I told many people that we could not make this stuff up. This incident proves it.
Good job officer!
selzer bottles don't kill people, clowns kill people.
street deputy: good job officer glad your safe.
officer: honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, fuckin shithead.
6/18/2011 03:35:00 PM
F'n funny shit man. Best comment of em all !!!
*Poppity Pop Pop Pop Ka-Pop!*
Muhfuckah Youz Deader Than Mr. Ned!
fun fact: who remembers the ppo slumber party held at a residence on south christiana where a certain retired commander would dress up like a clown? hint: he went by the name: rainbow the clown
Wonder what the shooting scene memorial is going to look like? We will personally make it our business to find a Bozo doll to contribute.
Put a little sign around it's neck that reads "oh shit, I'm shot!"
What about them airbrushed "RIP" tee-shirts?
"Momma, don't cry! He said he was gonna be famous an' shit!"
Can't help it... Been laughing about this shit all day...
"Damn! Bozo bust a cap in my ass!"
Anyone know what's going on in OTT/ Lincoln park tonight? There were 3 yukons on hudson south of Wisconsin.
Good job by the off-duty copper!
He ain't clownin' round, son! Why da sad face? Oh, that's right, cuz you be dead, cuz! Oh snap! Homey set yo triflin' ass straight... to hell, that is! WOOT!
Possibly the funniest post and comments I've ever read.
Glad the ODPO is safe!!
Story has made the national news. Can't be easy to disarm someone with a gun in a clumsy clown outfit. Good job by the officer. And I agree with SCC, how desperate (stupid??) do you have to be to try and rob a clown at a charity event?
"the clown kilt my kid!!"
OT. Was in 18 yesterday and saw 3 mounted units N/B on Rush. One of the horses had strange headgear on. Pulled up next to them and inquired what it was. Plate reader mounted on the horse Im told. Believe it or not.
6/18/2011 01:32:00 PM
I bet Georgas made them do cus their activity wasn't up to par
Wear a 12" long strap-on over your pants and put a clown mask on your head...I GUARANTEE nobody will mess with you.
Posted: 6/02/2011 02:11:00 AM
I’m guessing that Guarantee is not as rock solid as previouslly thought.
Who would have thought...
6/18/2011 06:41:00 PM
Maybe because it just wasn't appropriate at a child's birthday party...but why wasn't this clown wearing his 12" strap-on according to General Clown Order 11-06? No clown should EVER be without his strap on dong!
HEAR RAHM IS WORTH LIKE 16 MILLION DOLLARS!HOW IS THIS BEING A PUBLIC SERVANT HIS WHOLE CAREER?and we must sacrafice?please we get shot,shot at,and have to fight for this city on a daily basis!!!!WE HAVE GOT SHITTY RAISES ,WHILE CRIME HAS WENT DOWN WITH LESS MANPOWER!!WE PRODUCE REVENUE AND KEEP OUR CITY SAFE IF ALOUD TOO !!!
They'll say he never had a gun. Same old same old.
he didnta haffa kill da poor kid. He coulda jus hit him wif a pie in da face or sumpin!
I'm torn here. The Cop/Clown who did this clearly needs a merit promotion. However, the merit promotees are already overbooked on clowns of a different type.
Anyway I'm glad it worked out well. Like any good circus act the good guys always win at the end.
6/18/2011 06:54:00 PM
Even with the clown suit, he can do better than most of our exempts!
I can hear the interviews on the news now "that policeman executed that poor boy all the while he had a huge red grin on his face as he shot him!"
The clown was smiling the whole time. IPRA said whipe that smile off your face! Oh yeah that's right the smile was painted on... why you be clowning .
This P.O should be made boss.He would fit in nicely, because they're all clowns too.
Awww.....no Welfare for the parasite. Thank you Office, you have just saved us thousands of dollars, not to mention the shit bag reproducing.
Hope we don't get a new uniform now.
Wonder if the shithead told em "don't try nothing funny".
Bozo use to watch kids hit bucket number 1-6 this kid kicked the bucket. "No kid Right here to you"
You could conceal a sawed off shotgun in clown pants!
Anonymous said...
OT. Was in 18 yesterday and saw 3 mounted units N/B on Rush. One of the horses had strange headgear on. Pulled up next to them and inquired what it was. Plate reader mounted on the horse Im told. Believe it or not.
6/18/2011 01:32:00 PM
I bet Georgas made them do cus their activity wasn't up to par
6/18/2011 11:39:00 PM
Right, like so much other stuff on the CPD, this one ran on horseshit. The power cord was shoved up the horses rear end.
Bring in the clowns new 35th street strategy
6/18/2011 10:05:00 PM
Don't bother; they're here.
(apologies to Stephen Sondheim)
Hey Hey.....
The off duty PO is a cousin of Joe Pesci and he said to the kid, "What amI? A clown? Do I amuse you? BANG! BANG! You're dead."
Good Job, glad you are safe...
If I had the money...
I'd call the American Society of Variety Artists and hire six clowns. Then send them to the funeral home as pall bearers. I mean if one clown put him in the cemetery you might as well have six to carry him there.
Clown trivia...
Clown faces/make-up are registered by painting them on eggs. The practice was started in Great Britton right after W.W.II with hollow chicken eggs and it is continued with ceramic eggs.
The U.S. egg collection was housed at the International Clown Hall of Fame until 1997 when that organization moved from Delavan, Wisconsin, to its current location in Milwaukee.
There are a few basic types of clowns.
WHITE FACED CLOWNS:
There is the European styled PIERROT who is elegantly dressed and usually wears a white cone hat. An example is Pichhi as played in opera by Caruso.
Then there is the GROTESQUE Clown who wears a white face but enlarged painted facial features, moppy wigs and bright costumes. This is your typical Bozo or Clarabell.
AUGUSTE CLOWNS: (German meaning foolish) This is a character clown who is a prankster and rebel rouser. His make-up is flesh or pink colored with outlines on the lips and eyes. His costume will be outlandish suits of baggy pants with bright colors and stripes and polka dots.
TRAMP or HOBO CLOWN:
This is the only true American clown and it came out of the great depression. One only has to think of Emmett Kelly or Red Skelton's Freddy the Freeloader.
The CHARACTER CLOWN:
This is a comic version of a real person is greasepaint. The make-up can be any style and the costume makes the character anything from the lady with a baby, the fireman and of course the policeman.
Stay safe. Years ago, the CPD had a “Clown Unit”. It was a club of off duty P.O.s who entertained at events and children’s hospitals. There should be some photos of them in the Star Magazine from the 70’s and 80’s.
The shitheads should be very worried because there are all sorts of clowns on this job!
"Why so serious?" - The Joker.
Word on the street is that clowns and mimes will no longer be targeted. Robbers only going after bearded ladies, midgets and freaks. Everything is topsy turvy and orchestrated by the sword swallower.
The new sup is wondering why all tac teams are not in clown uniforms. Order requiring them comes out on monday.
Are you clowns finished yet?
Rahm is canceling all clowns' raises!
officer: honk, honk, honk, honk
funny stuff! thank you!
shakes the clown would be proud of you!
Anyone know what's going on in OTT/ Lincoln park tonight? There were 3 yukons on hudson south of Wisconsin.
6/18/2011 11:19:00 PM
3 arrested for lighting up the police helicopter with a laser.
Congratulations Officer. Your fellow clowns, Killer Klowns From
Outer Space, are proud of you for
dispatching that piece of trash.
They would have done the same thing
you did, only the perp would have
died laughing, in addition to lead
poisoning.
The results speak for themselves. Who, now, can honestly argue against forming a Clown Posse Unit for cracking down on the Michican Ave wildings?
From the movie "Shakes the Clown"
Judy: Listen, Binky - Shakes may be alcoholic... and a bad lay... but he's not a murderer!
Binky the Clown: [shouts] Not a murderer? How can you say he's not a murderer? He took one of his own juggling pins and smashed in Mr. Cheese's head with the fucking thing! Again and again and again, just hitting and hitting - and the head bursting and splattering underneath. And Boots and Hoho could've stopped me, but they didn't stop me!
Binky the Clown: [Normal voice] Wait... did I say 'me' just then?
Judy: Yes.
Binky the Clown: Whoa! Back up; now I've got to kill *you*! Beautiful! Another red-letter day for Binky the Clown! Just great!
The thug probably thought it was one of those guns that shoots out a banner that says "BANG"
He was wrong, I hope more of them are. God bless this officer and the CPD
Watch this clown get the Lambert Tree (deservedly so) now....
What say you Al?
6/18/2011 09:31:00 AM
Priceless!
They'll say he never had a gun. Same old same old.
6/19/2011 12:25:00 AM
....................................
That's why Ding Dong made one out of a black balloon before backup arrived!
Anonymous said...
SSC and Folks,
Long time reader, first time poster. In Chicago at McCormick and have a free day. Put off a bit by the flashmob stuff. Is Mag Mile, Navy Pier worth doing, or as an old fat white guy with a bum leg, am I just a large slow target?
Strange, but I've spent quite a bit of time in NYC and never felt unsafe, but there is a vibe in Chicago right now that is.. Unsettling.
Larry from Rochester
6/18/2011 09:51:00 AM
Yeah there's a vibe. Um did you even read the thread your commenting on? A punk a--hole tried to rob a clown! ... Yeah, this city is just fine. Idiot.
This story is way to funny...but Rahm please pay the police enough so they don't have to dress up as clowns and work part time, maybe this can be a new sting operation all over town and especially downtown have us working our off days time and a half in clown attire hoping someone kicks us in the ass and robs us so we can turn around and say Go ahead make my day....punk....do you feel lucky....well do ya punk. Pow pow ....thought this gun was gonna squirt water didn't ya !!!
From the Mary Tyler More episode Chuckles the Clown
The credo of a clown was a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants and 9mm round to your head.
Anonymous said...
The off duty PO is a cousin of Joe Pesci and he said to the kid, "What amI? A clown? Do I amuse you? BANG! BANG! You're dead."
6/19/2011 05:51:00 AM
What's the fuckin' matter with you? What - what is the fuckin' matter with you? What are you, stupid or what? Tommy, Tommy, I'm kidding with you. What the fuck are you doin'? What are you, a fuckin' sick maniac?
F ing animals! Glad officer is okay!
Are you clowns finished yet?
6/19/2011 06:14:00 AM
"You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
Then who the hell else are you talkin' to?
You talkin' to me?
Well I'm the only one here.
Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"
Just when I thought I'm done laughing, I read another comment. In death this scumbag brought something to civilized society that he couldn't do in real life. A SMILE AND A GOOD LAUGH.
Maybe because it just wasn't appropriate at a child's birthday party...but why wasn't this clown wearing his 12" strap-on according to General Clown Order 11-06? No clown should EVER be without his strap on dong!
6/18/2011 11:56:00 PM
Well done, sir!
You could conceal a sawed off shotgun in clown pants!
6/19/2011 04:26:00 AM
that's not a shotgun, babycakes, i'm just glad to see you.
Killer Klown Kills Kocky Kid.....
6/18/2011 07:30:00 PM
run with it, kid.
Perry White
Maybe because it just wasn't appropriate at a child's birthday party...but why wasn't this clown wearing his 12" strap-on according to General Clown Order 11-06? No clown should EVER be without his strap on dong!
6/18/2011 11:56:00 PM
Maybe because it just wasn't appropriate at a child's birthday party...
Hey, "wilders" don't mess with clowns or mimes. Put a mime or a clown on every corner in the "Mag Mile". Wildings solved.
Counting Gacy, this makes 34 confirmed kills by clowns. When will our government finally ban face paint? Will someone please think of the children?
The media has announced that all tourists should dress in clown costumes while walking on the Mag Mile to prevent from becoming a victim of the Wildings. Honk Honk!
And now, deep thoughs.... by jack handy.
“To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."
-jack handy
To the person that was in 018 yesterday and believes they observed a strange object attached to a police horses head. This is not true the only thing we put on our horses heads is the bridal. If they told you that they were messing with you.
6/19/2011 07:29:00 AM
A bad lay? He quits drinking I guarantee that whiskey d*ck will clear right up!
Signed,
The Bearded Lady
I can just here homeboy now...."Shiiiiiittt, you gots to stay away from them clowns, they kill your azz, motherfucka kilt my cuz, for no reason....This is bullshit!"
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